Crystal Memory
by EaglefootMoonflightVipertail
Summary: Every step he took felt like forever, broken pieces of memories popping up in his head like a broken record. "What if I don't want to forget about it!" He was angry, angry at himself, at anyone, even the world. Seeing that scene was tearing him apart, he knew now why he was told not to have a heart. Why does it have to hurt so much? "Just for now...stay..." LavixLenalee.


**Crystal Memory**

_'Why is everything so blurry? Why do I always see those mesmerizing violet eyes and nothing else? Were they important somehow or...is my imagination just running away with me again?'_

Staring up the snowy sky wasn't going to solve any of his questions, no matter how long he stared. Sighing, the long red haired young man snuggled into the soft scarf around his neck, protecting him from the cold.

His name? Well he lost that long ago, not that it matter much when nobody knew the real him, even he didn't know himself. Who was he in this world? Well maybe one day he'll figure it out. But for now he is a nobody, a person who never gets involved and stands there as the world changes day by day, as he stays the same.

However...was that true? Did he ever really stay the same? Humans changed constantly, always learning new things and growing up without a care. He learned new things while on his travels but...was it the same?

* * *

The young man entered a small and quaint cafe, the bell jingled followed by a 'welcome!,' by one of the staff. The warm air became welcoming to the frozen traveler, as he sat down at a small table and ordered a coffee.

As the waitress walked off towards the kitchen, he could feel all the customers wary gazes on him. It's not like he cared anyway, as he saw them only curious of a suspicious looking man, who only wears a visible worn out cloak, a weathered scarf, jeans, long sleeve t-shirt, and boots. Is there really anything to be scared of though? When he has done nothing wrong but walk in here and order a coffee?

The man softly chuckled to himself. Being curious and also suspicious of every little thing is human nature, after all. However...can he really call himself a human? After what he's been through?

Through the bangs of his long hair, his emerald eye met the curious gaze of violet eyes. The gaze was filled with fear but also curiosity, just like a frightened rabbit with no direction. He held the stare, both never looking away, wondering why he felt such a longing for something he knew nothing of.

The waitress soon came back with his coffee and he broke the stare, to look up at the waitress and give her a 'smile', thanking her. The waitress also seemed quite nervous around him, nodding her head and then quickly walking off to another customer.

His emerald eyes began to search again for those violet eyes, only to find them gone, nowhere in the cafe anymore. Why? Why does he still long for something that is forever forgotten from his memory? He doesn't even remembered what had happened before he had woken up on that sunny day.

* * *

About a few years ago he had woken up in a old run down house in the middle of nowhere, dust filled the room he was in and cobwebs filled the corners. Right beside him on the floor laid a plate of food and a glass of water, a note laid there also.

When he unfolded it and read the words, he became shocked. It had mentioned leaving him because he is no longer a candidate...When he tried to remembered who he was previously traveling with, he grew a massive headache, noticing the next few words mentioned something about knocking him out, cause he doesn't need to know the 'knowledge' anymore.

Whoever wrote the note said they really regret doing this to him, but they needed to...or he was going to never be able to move on. Of course, the person also mentioned that if he ever wants his memories to return, then he would have to watch the world with emotionless eyes.

* * *

And that's just what he did, after all, did he actually remember what it felt like to be 'happy' or 'sad'? Now he travels the world, searching for his long lost memories. Though whatever had happened in his past haunts him at every turn, those pair of violet eyes always appearing in random places, always reminding him of a frightened rabbit. To whose those pair of eyes belong to are still a mystery. But hopefully one day he'll figure it out.

If not...then maybe he's crazy...With that train of thought, the young man stood up from the cafe table and paid for his coffee. Walking back into the frozen world was nothing to him. Every step through the snow, reminded him of all the dreams he has when asleep. Dreams that absolutely made no sense. They were always filled with weird creatures and monsters, humans fighting for their lives, death and despair everywhere he turned...and...those heart-breaking violet eyes always watching him.

_'…please...'_

A whisper? He looked around to see nobody there.

_'...don't be..mad at me...'_

There it was again...but where? For some reason the voice and the words sounded so familiar, but he just can't place it. He saw a alleyway coming up, thinking of turning there, however once he came to it, he notice another young man comforting a young lady who is crying. Deciding that was what he was hearing and not wanting to disturb them, he walked on further up the deserted street.

_'...I-I did nothing wrong...'_

He stopped again and looked around. Now he is hearing things, he must be more crazy then he thought, or it could be that young couple back there...frightened violet eyes flashed in his vision yet again. Why are they the only clue to his lost memories?

_'…..La...please...don't...'_

Suddenly he grabbed his head, a massive headache preventing him from thinking or moving. He fell down on the frozen snow, only caring about his pounding head, which felt like it would explode at any second, with all the different emotions running through it. Pain, anger, sadness, guilt, longing, loneliness...and every other emotion you could ever think of. He felt horrible all over, he wanted to make it stop, if this is what it felt like to try getting his memories back...well maybe he didn't want them back at all.

"Hey, are you alright?" His vision was blurry now, he could hardly see anything much less speak.

"I'll go...call an ambulance!" A girl's voice said in panic.

An ambulance? He didn't want to go to a hospital or they might keep him there for a long time...then he will slowly forget himself and he'll never find out his true self. "N-No...don't..." He finally got out after so much effort. "Please..."

He could feel his awareness fading fast. "But..."

"It's alright." A man's voice said. "We can take care of him."

The girl still sounded reluctant. And before he sank into deep darkness he took one last glance to her...black hair...and...violet eyes...

Darkness covered his senses.

_'Le..na...lee...'_

* * *

A bland ceiling unfamiliar to him...however, wasn't everything unfamiliar to him? As he tried to think of an answer to that question, his head begin to hurt more then ever. _'Where am I anyway?' _He thought, trying to sit up now, only for his head to give him a sharp pain and a gentle hand pushing him back down onto the bed.

"Don't sit up yet. You might hurt yourself even more." A soothing voice said. His eye glanced up at a lady with long flowing black hair and...those haunting violet eyes. She smiled gently at him. However, he could see the sadness in her expression, like she had just seen a ghost and didn't know how to deal with it.

The one question ringing through his head right now. "Who are you?..." He softly said, staring at her in a daze, wondering why she felt so close and yet so far to him. Why does she seem so familiar?

She just smiled sadly at him, a hint of shock but also warmth in her gaze. "Me? I'm nobody you should be worrying about. For now I'm a friend trying to help out a person in need. Here is some hot chocolate I made."

She let him sit up slightly, so he could drink the refreshing hot drink. As she handed him the cup, their fingers touched slightly, making her quickly withdraw her hand. Not even noticing the quick action, the young man drank the hot chocolate, making him feel more refreshed and warm from head to toe.

"Thank you." He said, setting the cup down on a side table.

"Ah...your welcome." The woman now had slightly pink cheeks, though he didn't know he was the cause of it.

"I'm back." The man from earlier announced as he entered the room. "Oh, your awake. Great!" He held out his hand to the him. "My name is..." The man looked over at the woman, who was shaking her head, he just smiled. "It'll be fine." He whispered to her before turning back to the man in the bed. "I'm Allen and her's is Lena. What's your name?"

"I..." He turned his gaze to the snowy scenery outside the window. "...I don't have a name. At least I don't remember it." Why did their names sound so familiar? Why can't he remember?

Before Allen could utter another word, Lena suddenly said something shocking. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure..."

She seemed worried but asked anyway. "Do you remember anything? About your name? Where you lived? Anything?..." She seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"No. I don't remember anything." For some reason, he felt hurt inside by seeing her tears. He didn't want her to cry at all. "Why?..."

The one tear rolled down her pale cheek, landing on the floor with a splash. "Because you remind me of someone I used to know..." Her tears now flowed from her caring violet eyes, as Allen hugged her, trying to calm her down. He watched on, helplessly trying to figure out the situation, but failing when he noticed he was such a stranger to these people, as they were to him.

"It's alright. You know, it's almost dinner time. Why don't you go make dinner before your brother comes home? I bet he'll be starving after his long day at work." Allen soothingly said to her.

She nodded and smiled, trying to cheer herself up, even though he could tell it wasn't working. As she exited the room and closed the door, Allen sighed and turned to him.

Maybe it was his imagination...or maybe it wasn't...but just for a second, Allen had shoulder length long white hair tied back in a ponytail, with a creepy scar running across the left side of his face. Then his vision was back to normal, with the normal looking brown haired Allen with no creepy scar.

"...You okay?" Allen asked concerned. "You seemed to be thinking deeply of something. Is your memories finally coming back?" He noticed Allen seemed awfully happy or excited about him getting his memories back.

He turned his gaze away, not saying anything. How could he say something, when he didn't even know the answer himself?

"...I see...Well if you ever need anything, I'll be downstairs." Allen stated, walking out and closing the door behind him.

He sighed and laid back in the bed, trying to sort out all the emotions and thoughts running throughout his mind.

* * *

He didn't know how many hours had past...all he knew is that his stomach was growling and his mind screamed 'food!' and 'hungry!'. But did he really feel like getting up?...His hot chocolate was already cold...

Sighing again, he forced himself to get up off the bed and headed towards the door. Just as he was about to turn the knob, he heard whispering.

"Idiot, why did you let him in here?" A rough voice said, must be someone who he hasn't met yet. Maybe the brother?

He could hear a women silently crying. "He was hurting and had no other place to go."

The man scoffed like he couldn't believe her. "The reason you brought him here was because he looked so much like 'him', didn't you?"

"That's not true!" Lena harshly whispered back, trying to denied the claim, but he could tell her voice was wavering.

'Him'? Who are they talking about? He could hear Lena now crying as the other man walked away with a huff.

He then felt reluctant to actually walk out, afraid of getting caught eavesdropping. Just as he decided he could maybe sneak past her and not be noticed...

"That BaKanda." He heard the exasperated tone directed towards the other man, as Allen joined the scene.

_'….BaKanda.'_

_A white city...bird songs filled the air...doors leading to who knows where..._

_'...Welcome home.'_

_A gentle smile...warmth surrounding the atmosphere...joyful tears of loved ones..._

_'..We're back...'_

…_..destruction...chaos...a broken promise...violet eyes..._

Just as the images passed through his vision and he could see clearly again, he found himself laying on the cold floor, holding his head, which hurt like crazy. He felt like he had just ran a marathon, his breathing was becoming hard and he felt very out of it.

"Hey..." It sounded so close yet so far away. "...Can you hear me?" Was that...? No, it couldn't be...His vision became blurry.

He could feel someone touching his forehead. "He has a fever." Who is that? Who is talking?...Why can't he...remember?

* * *

A warmth overcame his senses, as his eye blinked open. What happened?...

"You're awake? Great!" He noticed a wet cloth had been placed on his forehead, probably by Lena, who currently sat right next to him on the bed.

"What..."

"What happened?" Lena finished for him. "You collapsed again and I found out you had a fever. So Allen carried you over to the bed. Are..." He looked over at her, just as she avoided his gaze, worry evident in her expression. "Are you really alright? I mean..." She back over at him. "...you've collapsed two times now. It can't be just a coincidence."

…_.A coincidence... "Why do I have such bad luck in my life? Is it just a coincidence...Am I not important?"_

…_.Tears flowed down porcelain cheeks. "That's not true! Y-You're still important to me!" _

"_Then why did you hesitant?!" He could feel his eyes tear up. "..When you were with me?..."_

_Violet eyes widen in shock, heartbreak clear in both their eyes. "I...I..."_

"_Goodbye." Walking away...a single tear shatters on the floor._

"_La...please don't go..." Cries fill the now lonely hallway._

"Here." As his vision refocused, he realized he had been spacing out...What was that scene? He noticed Lena now was holding a handkerchief out to him. "You suddenly started crying." She answered his questioning gaze.

He took the handkerchief gratefully and tried to wipe away his tears, which wouldn't stop flowing. He could feel a soft hand smoothing his hair, calming him down some. "You remembered something terrible...didn't you?" Even without looking, he knew she now held a hint of sadness in her expression.

He didn't know how to answer her question. When he didn't even know what was going on at that time. Was it the reason for his amnesia?

His tears had stopped flowing a little later and he now felt so sleepy. He felt his eyes closing slowly, her hands gently running through his hair, a soft expression on her face.

* * *

"_Watch out!" He pushed her out of the way, to avoiding an incoming attack. Only for him to get cut on his right arm, which held a huge hammer. _

_After the creepy looking monster was defeated, the woman ran back over to him with a worried expression. Prying away his hand to look at the wound, she let out a breath of relief. _

_He gave her a goofy expression. "What are you so worried about, Le-! Ouch! You didn't have to hit an injured person."_

"_You idiot!" She now held tears in her violet eyes, as she now sat on the dusty ground beside him. "You could have been killed!"_

_He loosely held her in a small hug, as she cried. Letting a warm smile formed on his lips. "But I didn't. So you should really be more happy, Lena-chan~." He wiped a tear rolling down her cheek, as she gaze up at him with tear filled eyes. _

_She smiled warmly up at him. "You idiot..." She snuggled into his hug, as the skies grew darker and rain began to fall. _

_Looking up he wondered if they should go before they catch a cold. Her grip on him tightened. "Just for now...stay..."_

_His gaze soften and he bent down to kiss her forehead. "Sure, we'll stay for as long as you like. Just like this." _

"_Thanks...L-"_

* * *

Adjusting to the darkness of the room, he noticed how late it had become. The half moon shone light onto the snowy ground outside. It had stopped snowing a while ago, adding to the eeriness of the night.

Sitting up, he noticed he didn't have a fever anymore and he felt much better then before. However...he was still having those weird dreams of fighting monsters. Why did she look so familiar?

He felt slightly guilty for falling asleep multiple times, troubling the strangers who were just trying to help him. He didn't want to trouble them anymore with his condition. So he decided if he was out, then maybe they wouldn't have to worry anymore...and they can just be happy. Then she wouldn't have to cry anymore...

He doesn't know why he feels so much pain when she cries, but it makes him want to cheer her up, just so he can see her cheerful smiling face again. He'll do anything just to make her smile.

Just as he expected the house was covered in total darkness. Every step he took felt like forever, broken pieces of memories popping up in his head like a broken record.

"_...Stay..."_

"_...Don't go...don't leave me..."_

_Flashes of lighting through huge glass windows. A darken hallway, laughter ringing throughout the silence._

"_Forget about it. This is your duty..."_

"_What if I don't want to forget about it?! What if I had just wanted to stay with her?!...Never having to record such terrible things!"_

_A menacing glare...then blackness..._

His head hurt, but he still continued walking towards the front of the house. Trying to not wake up anyone, he didn't want to bother anyone with his problems...he didn't want to make her cry with such heart-breaking tears.

Another step.

"_She didn't do anything wrong!" Worried sliver eyes covered his vision. "We were just talking!"_

_Anger...Jealousy...Sadness...begin to cover his entire senses. "What do you know?!" He was angry, angry at himself, at anyone, even the world. Seeing that scene was tearing him apart, he knew now why he was told not to have a heart. Why does it have to hurt so much?_

One more step towards the door, then he'll be gone. Never to see her tears again.

_'Stay...'_

His hand stopped a few inches from the doorknob.

"Where are you going?"

He didn't want to see her now, not when he is like this. He could hear her stepping closer, but he made no move to leave or to turn to her.

"You just had a high fever and you collapsed not too long ago. You need more rest..."

Taking a deep breath, he clutched the door knob in front of him. "I...I feel much better...I'm just going to take a walk." Why is it so hard to just talk?

"You're going to leave...again?" The last word was just a silent breath, but it seemed to echo around the darkness.

Again? Why does she mean by again? He begin to hesitate. Maybe she's the clue to my long forgotten past?

He turned to her slowly, even if he couldn't see her in the darkness. He could still see her right there clearly in front of him...violet eyes...long flowing black hair...and a kind smile. Just like the woman in all of his visions and dreams. She even has the same name...Lena...No...

"Lenalee." He could hear the shocked gasp of the women in front of him, even he was shocked himself when he said it out loud, almost like he had always known but never wanted to say it. He begin to feel tears rolling down his cheeks. Why is he crying?

"It...It is you, isn't it?" The disbelief in her voice, made it clear that he just figured out her real name. "How else would you know my name?" The floor creak as she took a step closer to him.

Right at moment the moonlight shone through a nearby window cascading it's light onto the both of them. He watched as she stepped even closer to him, teary violet eyes directed towards him with such longing that he couldn't look away.

However, even if he knew her name. Figuring out if he was truly the person Lenalee is thinking he is, is another problem entirely. "What if I'm not?" He tried to ignore the strange feelings circulating around his head. "How can you be so sure that you know me?"

Just as she is a few inches away, she reached up with her right hand and gently touched his cheek, slightly touching his hair also. "All the evidence I need is right in front of me. I can't forget your red hair or your green eyes. And that scarf, the one you would wear no matter the occasion."

More tears flowed down their faces, as he reached up to touch her hand, which still touched his cheek. Her touch is such a comfort to him, that he doesn't want her to ever let go. "Do...do you remember that day? The day we played in the snow just like we were kids again. Your smile was so breathtaking and cheerful, that it made me want to make you keep smiling forever."

He let out a short gasp.

* * *

_Snow gently falling. Trees wherever you turned. Laughter ringing through the air._

"_Ah!" He fell into the snowy ground, ending up half buried in snow. As the one giggling behind him was the culprit who had caused him to fall in the first place. "That's mean...Lenalee." He said slyly, shaking off all the snow as he stood up. _

_She just kept on giggling, only stopping for a second when she noticed him making another snowball. "Here I come, Lenalee~!" He grinned slyly, chasing after her with a snowball through the trees. Just as he was close enough to her, he dropped the snowball and hugged her. "Looks like I won~." _

_Lenalee smiled. "Looks like you did." _

"_Now for my reward..." He turned her around and gently kissed her on the lips. "Ready for the next contest?"_

"_Sure." _

"_It's Snowmen making time!"_

"_What about Snowladies?"_

_He grinned. "That too." _

_Lenalee watched as he walked away to start on his snowman. His smile today was so childish and playful that she had never seen him smile that way before. It was like this was the real him. And she is glad that nobody else will be able to make him smile the way that she does. _

"_Lenalee..."_

* * *

"...Are you cold?" He breathed out the words smoothly, shock flashing against her violet eyes.

She started to smile warmly, tears welling up in her eyes. "You remember...don't you?...Lavi..."

"...Lavi?"

"_Why do you think 'Lavi', the 39th personality, is different from all the others?"_

"_That's because you learned to 'love', to have a 'heart', something we don't need!"_

"_Give up. I promise you won't be needed again. I'll be the greatest you ever seen, without having the need for a 'heart'." _

"...My name?..."

She giggled and lightly tapped his nose. "Of course it's your name silly."

He lightly smiled.

"_Stay with me, Lavi. Till the end..."_

"_I don't care if I'm a Bookman! Nothing will ever stop love!"_

"_Even if you are a Bookman and have no need for a 'heart'. Even if you don't love me back because of that. I'll keep on loving you till my last breath. Why? No one needs a reason to be in love...it just happens!" _

He remembers it now, he remembers it all, the strange dreams weren't strange at all, they were real and true. And her...she wasn't just a part of his imagination, she, the one with those violet eyes he has always been searching for, is standing in front of him right now. Not even caring that he had forgotten about her.

However... "What about 'that' scene?..." His gaze held such helplessness that she was honestly confused as he was.

"Scene?"

"...That evening you took me in..." He averted his eyes, then looked back at her with such a innocent expression. "...you were crying..."

"Crying?" Her eyes slightly widen, as she remembered that evening.

* * *

"_Welcome!" Her eyes shifted to the entrance of the cafe, out of curiosity and natural reaction. She froze as she spotted the stranger, a lot people did in the cafe though, people who had never seen the newcomer before and were very suspicious of him._

_But her reaction was different, she gasped as memories of that long ago incident played through her head, she began to shake, frightened but also curious of who he was. Their eyes met, violet staring into green, one look away, then she broke down._

_Allen, almost oblivious to what had just happened, begin to try to calm her down. "Lenalee? What's wrong?"_

"_I..." She moved her teary gaze to him again, seeing him smile up at the nervous waitress, her heart clenched in pain. "...I need fresh air." _

_Lenalee got up quickly. "Ah! Lenalee, wait!" Allen quickly followed her out into the cold snowy weather. Without the stranger even noticing the ringing of the door, as he looked back to find the violet eyes missing. _

_In a certain alleyway, down a deserted street a little ways from the quaint cafe. Faint crying could be heard coming from one of the two people crouching in the shadows.  
_

_"I'm sorry..." Lenalee back away from Allen's comforting hug, wiping away her tears. "...you don't need to stay here with me. You can go back now, Allen. I'll catch up later." _

_"Lenalee..." His expression as he looked at her was soft but also filled worry.  
_

_"Allen, I'm fine." She tried smiling up at him, however he just stared back at her with a gentle stubborn gaze. _

_He then hugged her, just as a friend comforting another friend should. "Why? Why do you keep everything bottled up inside? I saw him too, the customer, he looked just like 'him' and it brought back memories of that time, didn't it?"  
_

_Just like he had said, the stranger did bring back some memories that she had almost forgotten about. She knew she would never see him again, that's why she wanted to forgot everything about him as much as possible, who wouldn't when you get your heart broken just like that? And just as she was content enough to forgot and live on without any worries, she just had to be reminded of that time. _

_Lenalee lifted her arms and wrapped them around Allen, hugging him as she cried fitfully on his shoulder. Letting all the emotions she had felt for such a long time out like a busted pipe._

* * *

"...Lenalee?..." She blinked and slightly backed away from him.

"It's nothing. Do..." Lenalee lifted her gaze to meet his. "...Do you still remember...that night?..."

"That night?.." A sudden shock and sharp pain ran through his mind, clenching his teeth, trying to hold back the pain.

"Are you okay?" She asked, worried.

He didn't say a word, telling her that he was indeed not alright. "Here." She gently lead him over to a nearby couch. "You must be cold, I'll go make some hot chocolate for us." Lenalee lingered for a bit, still worried, then she went on her way to the kitchen, hoping maybe if he warmed up some, there wouldn't be such a tense atmosphere between the both of them.

Lavi watched as she left the room for a bit, which was somewhat of a relief for the both of them. Since they had just met up again after such a long time, with him having amnesia and having to take all this information in at one time, it is a really stressful time. Lavi sighed again and leaned back into the comfy couch, as his thoughts whirled around his head. He doesn't exactly remember everything about his past yet. But, he does know that it will come back to him in time. He isn't that in a hurry to remember after all.

Though if there was a reason to want to remember soon, it would be because of her. Lenalee seems to be the key to his lost memories, those memories, especially that one memory that he still can't remember much of, is like a crystal. A crystal surrounded by rocks, that will soon be discovered in time. He still can't believe he has found the key that one crystal memory, out of all the people in this world, he got to meet her again after such a long time.

* * *

_A warm spring breeze. Soft wind rustling the tops of trees, as the most dazzling cherry blossoms sprinkled the cool air. Despite the refreshing spring air and the comforting atmosphere, a feeling of a bittersweet breeze begin the stir between their gazes.  
_

_"...Lenalee...?" The pain and confusion filtering through his green eye, couldn't compare to the various emotions swarming in her violet gaze. Why?...Why does she look so scared?_

_Just seconds ago, they were having the time of their lives. Sneaking out of the Order without being seen, laughing, playing around in the woods like a couple of kids...reaching over to...Why is she so scared...of me?_

_"...I.." Frightened violet eyes stared into him, looking as scared as a small frightened rabbit with nowhere else to go. _

_His stretched out hand touched her shoulder, in which he could feel her flinch and look even more scared. "L-Lenalee, tell me please. What's wrong-"_

_"I-I just remembered..." She begin to force a fake 'don't-worry' smile upon her face. "...there is something I have to do...Can.." Lenalee stare into his eye. "..Can we met up later?"_

_However, Lavi could tell something was going on and she was trying to not hurt his feelings by keeping it from him. She should know by now that she can't keep anything from him._

_Before she could turn and walk away, he grabbed her arm, making her stop. "Lenalee." She avoided his gaze. "Lenalee, please, look at me." She gaze up at him, her eyes filled with guilt and buried emotions, holding onto the tears that were beginning to form. _

_"Lavi...Lavi...I-I...Sorry." Just as the tears cascaded down her face, she broke free from his grip, leaving him to silently feel the rejection and confusion overcome all his senses._

* * *

_"Lavi." _

_No response._

_"Lavi!"_

_The young man looked up weakly at Bookman, in which the older man found odd and felt that something wasn't right. He has had a feeling Lavi hasn't been himself lately. Bookman sighed. "Take these documents to Koumi. And don't slack off and lose them." _

_Wanting for the usual idiotic response, that fit his chosen personality, Bookman was surprised to only get a slight nod from his apprentice before he headed out of the deserted library. Bookman only hoped that whatever made Lavi like this wasn't too serious and he would get over it soon, a bookman had no need for a heart, afterall._

* * *

_No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't wrap his head around that scene. Why was Lenalee so scared of him? Why had she said 'sorry' and ran off crying? Did someone threaten her? It couldn't be about his Bookman heritage, they already had that talk when they just started dating secretly. The neverending question echoed throughout his head, never getting answered until...  
_

_Faint crying could be heard in a deserted corridor, that Lavi hadn't realized he was walking down. Though the scene in front of him, made him forget that he was actually going in the wrong direction._

_"Lenalee..." One of his best friends, or at least thought was his best friend, was hugging his secret girlfriend, who was crying. _

_"I don't know what to do, Allen. I-I...I can't hurt him like this...he's really special to me...I-I don't want him to leave." Lenalee cried harder with Allen hugging her closer and caressing her hair._

_Lavi's mind went blank at the scene before him._

_"It's alright, Lenalee. He won't just because this." Allen reassured her. _

_Lenalee looked up into the other's sliver eyes. "Really...?"_

_Allen's expression soften as he looked down at her. "Really."_

_A certain emotion then started to boil inside of him. Had he had known earlier that this was going on, then he probably wouldn't feel this way, but now it was too late. The anger, hatred, loss, hurt, sorrow, resentment, and every other emotion he could think, burn inside of him like a every growing fire. He just couldn't believe it...he just couldn't believe the one he had loved was now turning her back on him. Was it because he was a Bookman? Was it because Koumi would never give him approval to date her? Was it because we could never have a future together? Because...Allen was a much better choice?_

_What had happened?...What had happened to the dreams, the kisses, the plans they had shared for their future together. Had it all gone to waste now? Was there nothing left to recover anymore? Lavi could feel the unspoken tears fall down his cheeks. Everything. Everything is over between them. Bookman was right, we shouldn't have hearts afterall._

_Those haunting violet eyes, that once held so much love for him, turned to him with shock. She quickly retracted from Allen's grip to face the redhead in grief. "Lavi, what's wrong?" Allen stepped back a bit to give the secret couple some space. Lenalee walked up to Lavi about to put her hand up to his cheek to wipe away his tears, when he stepped back out of her reach, shocking her even more._

_"Lavi...why?"_

_The anger and sorrow boiling inside of him until just now exploded. "Why? Why? That's what I've been trying to answer all this time! Why did you flinch away from my touch? Why were you just talking with Allen so secretly like this? I thought Allen was the one who always had bad luck, but I guess it was me all along." Lavi let out a bittersweet chuckle that was filled with heart break._

_Lenalee could feel already the tears sliding down her cheeks as she tried to approach him again. "Lavi, it's not what you think. We're just talking. Me and Allen are just friends, Lavi, nothing more. You're the only I love." The sincerest in her voice, almost made him think she was telling the truth. However, he just couldn't get that scene out of his mind. _

_"Even if that is true. Then why were you and Allen staring at each other with such passion? You haven't looked at me like that in a long time, Lenalee." There wasn't anger in his voice, only filled with such sorrow and longing._

_"Lavi, I would never want to hurt you like this, ever."_

_"Then why don't you explain it to me."_

_Lenalee felt the fresh tears falling down her face, not wanting to see such heartbreak on her loved one's face. "I...can't...I'm sorry."  
_

_"Why do I have such bad luck in my life? Is it just a coincidence...Am I not important?"_

_Tears flowed down porcelain cheeks. "That's not true! Y-You're still important to me!" _

"_Then why did you hesitant?!" He could feel his eyes tear up with more broken tears. "..When you were with me?..."_

_Violet eyes widen in shock, heartbreak clear in both their eyes. "I...I..."_

"_Goodbye." Walking away...a single tear shatters on the floor._

"_Lavi...please don't go..." Cries fill the now lonely hallway._

_Footsteps begin to follow him, making the redhead stop and turn back to face Allen._

"_She didn't do anything wrong!" Worried sliver eyes covered his vision. "We were just talking!"_

_Anger...Jealousy...Sadness...begin to cover his entire senses. "What do you know?!" He was angry, angry at himself, at anyone, even the world. Seeing that scene was tearing him apart, he knew now why he was told not to have a heart. Why does it have to hurt so much?_

_Lavi turned away and ran off, never wanting to see either of them again, not even noticing a certain black haired man watching the whole scene from afar. Unusually sympathizing with the redhead, since he also knew how much it hurt to love someone._

_That day was a stormy one that no one wanted to forget or remember, as the rain pouring down outside filled the emptiness and loneliness of their hearts._

* * *

He remembered. He remembered everything. All of it.

"Lavi, I-" Lenalee almost dropped the tray as Lavi hugged her suddenly. He then kissed with such longing and forgiveness, that she didn't know what to do or say. After the kiss, Lavi let go of her so she could put the tray down on a nearby side table. Just as she put it down she was pulled from behind into another warm hug by Lavi.

"I remember it, Lenalee. I'm sorry for everything I did and said. I shouldn't said those things back then. I guess...I guess I was just so shocked and worried, that I couldn't think of anything else." Lavi said, leaning his chin on her shoulder.

"No." Lenalee turned around to face him still in his grip. "I should be the one apologizing. I-I really didn't mean to hurt you. I just...was scared of losing you. I was happy being with you but, then Bookman came and confronted me, telling me that if we didn't stop. Then he was going to take you out of the Order and far away...where I'll never see you again."

Lavi hugged her tighter and put his chin on her head, as she snuggled into his chest. "I-I wanted to stay with you, forever. But I also didn't want you to leave. So I was very conflicted. I mean...I loved being with you, Lavi. Everyday at the Order always seemed so cloudy and gray, even with Brother and all my friends there. But, when you came into my life, everything was then filled with color and I could enjoy myself without having to put effort in. Everytime I cried, you would somehow make me smile, even when I was having the most horrible of days. You complete me, Lavi. Without you I probably wouldn't be myself at all. You make my days seem even happy and brighter then before, and I want you make them even brighter in the future."

Lenalee looked at him. Eyes filled with love and devotion. "I love you, Lavi."

Leaning down and gently brushing his nose with her's, Lavi adorned her with a gentle loving smile. "I love you too, Lenalee." They kissed with such longing, passion, and devotion, they didn't even notice the audience they had acquired.

Allen chuckled at the conflict of Koumi's brotherly love for Lenalee. And Kanda just scowled, wondering if they had just gotten married, judging by the way Koumi was acting. "Lenalee-chan!"

The couple broke apart with embarrassment at get caught. Allen gave them a teasing smile. "So when is the wedding?"

Lenalee smiled back. "Next week."

"Eh?!" Koumi didn't except his little sister to get married so quickly. Allen didn't actually expect such a serious response. Lavi didn't even except to get married so suddenly, but...he didn't really care, as along as it's Lenalee that is his wife.

"That's too soon, Lenalee!" Well at least he seem to approve of Lenalee's choice.

Lenalee him a sly smile. "And that's I'm giving you time to approve of it. By spending more time with the groom." She pushed Lavi over to her brother, before running up stairs to call her friends to tell them the good news.

Koumi stared down Lavi, giving him a uneasy feeling. Koumi then begin to drag Lavi off to 'interrogate' him and giving him a lecture he won't soon forget. Allen wished happiness for the couple and was glad everything was settled quite well. Kanda walked off back to his room with a scowl, "Their all idiots."

The one crystal memory that had caused them to break, helped them find each other again, through the miracle of never giving up and true love that will overcome anything.

* * *

A/N:

I really hoped you enjoyed this oneshot. Thank you to anyone who reads and reviews. I apologize to everybody who has followed, that I haven't uploaded anything up until now. I've been super busy with school. (Having essays, homework, tests, projects, etc. every week is stressful.) But I've been working on this oneshot since September and I'm really satisfied with it. This one of the first times I've ever worked this hard on a oneshot, so I really do hope you like it. It took me about a month to actually write the flashback part and the ending. (I only just wrote it this morning.)

Really thanks to everyone. And if you have enjoyed this, don't forget to review. It would mean a lot to me.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving and a great day! :)


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